Ok. I admit it. I’ve said it in front of my kids, and although I didn’t mean to…it slipped out. In all honesty, most of us can admit that it’s a great word to express certain emotions. Anger, sadness, disbelief, shock, excitement, disappointment, and the list goes on and on. Before I had children, if it slipped out, who cared? I mean, it might have made me look bad, but it’s only a word. Right? Well, it was only a word, until my 3 year old asked me what it meant.
You can’t always protect your kids from the world. The f-word is thrown around constantly by people around us. Bay area drivers during a heat wave, a stubbed toe, a surf through HBO, it’s always there. My husband I have made a conscious effort to stop swearing around our kids, especially because our 3 year old is a sponge, and although flattering at times, he loves to emulate us. When people compliment him on his manners, I secretly pat myself on the back. When he says “excuse me” to our friends, I beam with pride. But, the day came, when I was driving with my incredibly proper Indian mother, he decided to ask me the definition of “f***ing* and “F***”. At first I was shocked, solely because I couldn’t imagine a more inopportune time for this conversation to take place. Then I stifled a giggle. My mom looked at me and I played the whole “Oh my god! Wherever did you hear that?” card. Truth be told, I’m sure it was from us. I’m sure it slipped out of our mouths and I had to take responsibility for my actions as a mother.
I told him that “f***” was a bad word. His response was “Why?” I then proceeded to tell him that it was a word that could make other people feel bad. It was a word, though frequently used by many, didn’t necessarily mean something good. I figured he would soon learn that the word “F***” could mean numerous things, good and bad, but it’s all about time and place. I also told him to call me out. If I accidentally said it, I was in the wrong and he had every right to tell me that it was not ok to say that word.
A few weeks later, I found myself fighting for a coveted parking spot and lost the battle. Under my breath I said “that sucks”. Before I could even blink and find a new spot, my conscience, aka 3 year old, said to me in the most adult voice, ” Mommy, f*** is a bad word. Don’t say it, it makes me feel bad”. I looked at him and said, “I swear I didn’t say that word, I said “sucks”! His response, “Mommy, no, you said it. It’s a mean word.”
Talk about trading places…I said sorry, and I thanked him for calling me out. I told him that Mommies also need reminders and need to be called out. I’m not a superhero, I’m simply a mom and I try.
